


risk it all

by underthesunshine



Category: IZONE (Band)
Genre: F/F, Soulmates, ithinkifailed, itriedtomakeitkindaangsty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-17
Updated: 2020-05-07
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:01:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23696641
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/underthesunshine/pseuds/underthesunshine
Summary: When both of you turn 18, you'll hear your soulmate's voice inside your head.And Yena was so sure Yuri's her soulmate
Relationships: Choi Yena & Jo Yuri, Choi Yena/Jo Yuri, Choi Yena/Kim Chaewon (IZONE)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 23





	1. one

**Author's Note:**

> this came to my mind so i decided to write it.

When both of you turn 18, you'll hear your soulmate's voice inside your head.

Yena has known Yuri for so long. They met each other when Yuri family moved into the house next to her. Yena was 8 and Yuri was 6. And ever since then, they spent most of their time together. They went to the same schools from primary to high school and they always spent their time together after school. 

Yena wasn't sure when she started to have feelings for Yuri. She thought it was somewhere around middle school but maybe it was even long before that when she was too young to understand what love is but she fell for her anyway and somehow, Yuri felt the same way. So they started dating when Yena was 16 and Yuri was 14. 

She still remembered how people reacted to that. People were saying that they're bringing bad luck because you're not supposed to date anyone unless they're your soulmate and stuff like that. Well, she didn't care. If it was for Yuri, she's not afraid to risk it all. 

When Yena turned 18 and she didn't hear anyone's voice inside her head, she was really happy. Well, it's obviously because her soulmate wasn't 18 yet but so is Yuri, she was still 15 at the time, there were still chances that Yuri is her soulmate. So she keeps on praying everyday that Yuri is indeed her soulmate because she really can't imagine being with someone else for the rest of her life other than Yuri. And they can always understand each other without saying anything or hearing anything inside their head, so tell her how can Yuri not be her soulmate.

\--

Turns out it was possible for Yuri to not be her soulmate because that morning Yena woke up and she could hear someone else talking in her head. It's definitely not Yuri since she's not even 17 yet.

Yena has never prepared herself for this, for hearing a stranger's voice inside her head and having the stranger listening to her thoughts inside their head. So she quickly searched on how to block the communication between you and your soulmate and thankfully, there are plenty of guides and she tried them right away. She thought it worked because right after, she stopped hearing her soulmate voice inside her head. 

She needed to let these all sink in first.

And she definitely needed Yuri more than anything at the moment.

\--

"Yuri!" Yena said as soon as she saw the younger in front of her house with her uniform.

"Unnie! Early morning class today?" Yuri waved her hand and smiled as she saw her favorite person.

The older just shook her head and gave Yuri a grin. "I'm sending you off to school today."

"Unnie... I'm not a little kid anymore, you know?" Yuri said as she pouted her lips.

"Stop pouting or I'll kiss you," Yena said. She really wanted to kiss her beloved girlfriend but there were a lot of the neighborhood kids around them so she thought it might not be a good idea.

Yuri just chuckled and intertwined their hands together. "Let's go. I'll be late."

The two then headed to the nearby bus stop and rode the first bus that arrived. Yena felt like it was high school all over again. Going to school with Yuri and holding her soft hand as they wait for the bus to arrive, she surely missed this. She took a look at the intertwined fingers that felt so warm. Those hands of Yuri were definitely her favorite things (after Yuri's lips) and there's no way she could ever be ready to lose them.

"Did something happen?" Yuri suddenly said, stopping the train of thoughts inside Yena's head. Of course she'll notice.

"Just... bad dream," Yena answered with a low voice, hoping the younger would believe the lies. 

"Hmm?" Yuri turned her body to face Yena, making sure the older was fine. She's never good with bad dreams after all. "You wanna talk about it?"

"I.. I had a dream of losing you... so I want to make sure you're still here." Yena felt like she could cry anytime at that moment as she said those words because what she said was a dream would most likely become a reality and she really didn't want that to happen.

"Unnie..." Yuri cupped Yena's face and looked into the pair of eyes deeply. "I'm not going anywhere, okay?"

"Still... That was scary," whispered Yena. "I really can't afford of losing you."

"We'll be together till the end, don't worry. We're soulmates after all," Yuri said before pulling Yena into a hug.

Hearing the last sentence, Yena let out a bitter laugh. "Yeah, we're soulmates."

\--

It took Yena a whole week for her to open the telepathy thing again. Sooner or later, she's gonna need to deal with this anyway. 

'Hello?'

'Oh hi there! You finally open the communication again!'

'Ah, I'm sorry about that.'

'It's okay! I was shocked too at first and I was thinking to block the line too but you blocked it first haha.'

'I wasn't ready to have someone listening to my thoughts all day long.'

'It's okay. I think I'm gonna block the communication every now and then too. I don't think you want to her about my school stuffs.'

'Yeah I don't think I want to hear that haha.'

'Oh! We haven't introduced each other. I'm Chaewon, I just turned 18 when you heard me for the first time.'

'I'm Yena. I'm turning 19 this September.'

'Cool! You aren't that much older than me. I was really afraid to find out that my soulmate is an old man or something.'

'Oh yeah, haha.'

There was a bit of silence after that. 

If they were talking in person, Yena was sure that it'd be an awkward one. Yena didn't think she was ready for some long conversation yet that night.

'Chaewon?'

'Yeah?"

'I think I'm gonna block the line now. I have so many assignments to do and I don't think you want to hear me thinking in some programming language.'

'Haha sure! I need to start studying too. Nice to talk to you Yena!'

When Yena asked about this soulmate thing to a lot of people, to her friend Hyewon, to her cousin Eunbi, even to her parents, they all said that the first conversation they had with their soulmates were exciting and it made their hearts flutter. But Yena didn't feel anything when she had the conversation with Chaewon and she didn't know if that's normal or not.

\--

It had been a month since the first time Yena heard Chaewon's voice in her head. The two had several conversations again after the first one. It was fun, Yena likes to chat after all. But she still doesn't feel the butterflies in her stomach and stuff like how Eunbi and Hyewon had explained to her. The feeling she had for Chaewon's probably the same with the one she had with Hyewon or any other friends she had.

And her relationship with Yuri? It's still normal, Yena thought. They still hang out whenever they both had time, they greeted each other good mornings and good nights. Yuri still didn't know about all of these though, about Yena having a soulmate because Yena herself still couldn't fully accept the fact that her soulmate isn't Yuri. She loves Yuri so much, too much maybe and she's afraid of seeing how Yuri will react to this. 

Who the hell thought this soulmate concept a good idea, she protested inside her head while throwing herself onto her bed. She's frustrated. Maybe she should just be honest to Chaewon. Or should she give it a try?

Yena let out a big sigh again and that's when her phone rang, showing a message from Chaewon.

chaewon: Yena! Wanna talk?

yena: Sure

Yena opened the communication line and the two then talked for hours or so. They talked about how school was that week, how annoying Yena's professor was, and how funny Chaewon's classmates were. At last, Chaewon finally brought up the topic Yena had avoided the most, meeting up.

'Yena, do you want to have a meet up?'

'A meet up?'

'Yeah, you live in Seoul too, right?'

'Yeah I do. That sounds like a good idea actually.'

'How about this Saturday? Are you free?'

'Yeah, I'm free.'

'Great, wait I'll send you a location of a good cafe that I know. I hope it's not too far from your place.'

A few seconds later, Yena received a message from Chaewon about the location of the cafe. It was in Myeongdong, she could definitely go there easily.

'That's a good place, it's pretty close from me.'

'Okay! Is 11AM okay?'

'Yeah, it's good.'

'I'll see you then! I think it's time for me to go back studying. Nice talking to you Yena!'

'Good night Chaewon.'

'Good night Yena'

Yena threw herself onto her bed the second time that night. She'll give it a try.

\--

Yena arrived at the cafe fifteen minutes before 11AM. The cafe was pretty empty, probably because it wasn't lunchtime yet. It was nice, Yena likes it when it isn't too crowded. She then picked a seat somewhere in the corner before sending some message through the telepathy that she'd arrived already.

It wasn't until another 30 minutes when Chaewon said to her that she'd arrived and that's when you saw a girl with a short hair standing in the entrance.

'I'm at the corner raising my hands'

It didn't take long for Chaewon to find her and walked her way to the table. 

"Hey," Yena greeted the other girl as she waved her hand.

"Hey, Yena," the younger girl replied before sitting on the other chair. "Sorry for making you wait."

"It's fine. It's me that came too early," Yena said, turning her eyes to the menu, she's starving. "What do you want to order?"

"I'll take an iced cappuccino and a salad."

"On a diet?" Yena asked as she called the waiter to take their order.

"Nah, I just ate too much for breakfast so I'm not that hungry now."

Yena just nodded her head hearing the other's answer as half of her thoughts were still thinking about what topic she should talk about that afternoon.

"Good afternoon, I'm Haeun and I'm here to take your order," said the waitress.

"One iced cappuccino, one sweetened iced tea, one salad, and one carbonara, please," Yena said to the waitress before ending it with her bright smile.

"I like your smile," Chaewon abruptly said, making the girl in front of her furrowed her eyebrows, "What?" 

"I like your smile. It transfers happiness to me."

"That's kinda random but thanks," Yena said, trying to hide the fact that she might have blushed a little. "I like your hair."

The younger smiled hearing the compliment she had always wanted to hear. "Thanks! I wanted to change my look so I cut it recently. All of my friends said it looks weird on me though."

"Then I think your friends are dumb."

Yena could see Chaewon smiling even wider, making her to mentally scold herself. She's still Yuri's, this was basically just cheating. There was a subtle sigh went out from her, she really needed to settle this soon or she'd hurt both of the girls.

\--

And Yena's way to settle this matter was to spend more time with both of the girls which herself thought was dumb. 

She went out with Chaewon every now and then. Mostly, they just went to the cafe to grab something to eat and have a little chat. (It's to know more about each other, Chaewon would say.)

But this one Sunday, the two decided to watch a new movie that just came out. It was an action movie Chaewon said she was looking forward since forever. Being a good soulmate that she is, of course Yena agreed even if she didn't really like the genre.

Throughout the movies, Yena couldn't help but to notice how Chaewon's hand was always holding hers, how she put her head on Yena's shoulder every once in a while, and how she fed Yena popcorn at times.

And when they're finally finished with the movies, there was one more thing she noticed. It is how the younger's now basically clinging to her as they walked out from the cinema.

"I'm really happy to spend another day with you," the short-haired girl said, a wide smile plastered on her face. "It's our first time watching a movie together like this too!"

Yena forced herself to form a smile in her face. "I'm glad you enjoyed today," she said as she wrapped her arm around Chaewon's shoulder.

Yena thought Chaewon said something else after that. Probably about the movie or about how they should hang out sometime soon. She didn't really catched that because her mind was too busy thinking:

She sure did a lot of this kind of things with Yuri before and it felt so good.

But this moment right here, it just didn't feel right.

\--

Yena came home from the date to a message from Yuri, which instantly brought a smile on her face.

yuri: unnie, are you busy?

yena: No, why?

yuri: i need help with math

yena: Do you want me to come to your house or?

yuri: im coming to yours

yena: Okay, I'll wait in my room

"What's with that face?" Yena asked when she saw Yuri entered the room with a pouty face 10 minutes later. 

Instead of getting an answer, Yena who was sitting on her chair, got a weight on her laps. It was Yuri who then hugged Yena and rest her head on the older's shoulder. Yena could feel her cheeks getting warm from the action. It's still a wonder how even after years of being together, Yuri always had this effect on her whenever she stands too close.

One of Yena's hands then moved to hug Yuri back while the other one caressed the latter's back. She knew Yuri was probably frustrated, she was never a math person after all.

"I've been trying to finish this homework since afternoon and I'm still not done yet. Plus, I have an exam tomorrow," Yuri finally said. "I really need your help."

Yena nodded her head slightly, "What is it about?" she asked. "Integral."

"Here, I'll show you how easy math really is," the older said before opening Yuri's book that the latter had put on the table earlier. 

Yena then started to explain the subject with Yuri still sitting on her laps (Yuri is now facing the table, of course). It wasn't a really comfortable position to study but they did it like that anyway because they liked it. Yuri liked how Yena kept her other hand around her waist and Yena liked how she could smell the familiar strawberry scent that she had always loved. (Yena felt her laps getting numb hours later when they're finished but Yuri didn't need to know that.)

The clock showed 8 PM when they're finished, meaning they spent 4 hours studying (and cuddling) and yet, Yena still felt that it's still not enough.

And so she asked:

"Yuri, do you want to watch some movies and stay for the night?" 

The younger paused to think for a couple seconds before giving out a smile. "Sure, I've finished all my homework anyway. Go pick a movie, I'll change my clothes," she said before picking up some clothes from Yena's closet and went to the bathroom to change.

When Yuri came back in one of her oversized sweater, Yena could felt the butterflies in her starting to get noisy. Her girlfriend seemed so small and cute and she couldn't handle it.

And when they watched the movie later, Yena ended up only watching 20% of it as she was too busy looking at Yuri. Watching closely how she always got startled when the main character got into something dangerous, how she kept snuggling closer into the older when the air got a little colder, and how she kept their hands intertwined to each others' throughout the movie.

That night, Yena also ended up kissing her girlfriend's cheeks many times during the movies just to annoy her (and because she missed the feel of Yuri's soft and fluffy cheeks.)

And this right here, it felt just right.

She had decided, she'd tell Yuri soon.

\--

But Yena was too late.

When she got home from college the next day, she was greeted with Yuri sitting in her front porch with an angry face.

"Unnie, what's this?" the younger said while showing a picture in her phone to Yena.

It was a picture of her and Chaewon from yesterday, Chaewon's clinging all over her.

"Yuri, how did you get that?"

"It doesn't matter where I get this!" Yuri yelled. "Unnie, are you... are you cheating on me?"

Yena could feel her heart sunk. The very last thing she wanted to do is to make Yuri upset and she did it today. And she knew this time, it couldn't be fixed with hugs, kisses, and even some ice cream.

"That's my soulmate," Yena said shortly because that was the only explanation she had.

"Your.. your soulmate?" There was a drop in Yuri's voice and a frown formed on her face. So Yena looked away, there's no way she could ever face Yuri being so disappointed with her.

"I first knew it 2 months ago."

"You've known this for 2 months and you didn't tell me? You let me think that I am the one that's your soulmate while you're out there flirting with her?!" Yuri raised her voice once again.

"Yuri.. I can expl-"

"You don't need to. I hate you, unnie," was the last sentence Yuri said before disappearing from Yena's sight, leaving her in despair.

_ How can I be this dumb to let her go? _

\--


	2. two

"You look rather down today," Hyewon said, putting her food on the empty table beside her best friend before finally taking her seat. "Actually, you look down this past week."

"It's Yuri," Yena replied.

"Huh? You two had a fight?" Hyewon asked as she took the first bite of her meal. 

"She's not my soulmate," answered Yena, making Hyewon drop her spoon.

"Wait what?"

Hyewon had known Yuri and Yena since she became Yena's classmate in their second year of middle school. Even before the two started dating, she already had a hunch that there's something between them and when she heard about soulmates, she was so sure that Yuri and Yena are soulmates.

Hyewon often found the two accidentally wearing matching outfits, listening to the same song at the same time, and saying the same thing simultaneously. And if those aren't some soulmate shit, then she's gonna stop believing what people are saying about soulmates. (Though she still believed that she and her soulmate are really meant to be together.)

Even the word shock is an understatement.

And so Yena told Hyewon about all that had happened, about Chaewon being her soulmate and how she didn't have any feelings for her, and about her final decision regarding this matter.

"I planned to tell both of them last week, but Yuri found out about it last Monday," Yena finished.

"So what are you gonna do now?"

"I don't know, Hyewon," a sigh could be heard as the words came out of Yena's mouth, "I can't even think about anything because my mind is full of the thought of losing Yuri."

Hyewon just nodded her head, trying to think. 

"I'm not sure if this helps but for me, if someone I really love runs away from me, I'll chase her to the end of the world," she finally said.

And that left Yena silenced. She had always had Yuri within her reach, always so close to the tip of her fingers, so she never had to think about what to do when Yuri leaves until the past week. And hearing Hyewon's words just made her realize how simple it is.

_ How can I be so dumb to not think about it? _

\--

So Yena asked Chaewon to meet right after and thankfully, the younger was available at the time so they decided to meet at the usual cafe.

When Yena arrived at the cafe, Chaewon was already sitting at their favorite spot with a couple of drinks on the table while eating some salad.

Yena quickly approached Chaewon and said a little, “Hey,” before taking a seat in front of her. The latter just nodded as she continued to finish her food, so Yena just took out her phone and played with it.

And somehow, she ended up opening her latest message with Yuri. She scrolled through and read a few of them. There wasn’t much to see since they usually just crash into each other’s house whenever they missed each other but it was enough to make Yena’s heart feel warm. That, until she remembered about the fight.

"So, what brings you here?" the short haired girl asked, breaking the silence that’d been filling the space between them.

Yena quickly closed her phone and put it on the table, hands now moving to play with the straw in her drink. "I... I need to be honest with you," she said.

"Hmm?"

The older didn’t answer right away. Her eyes looked around the cafe as she tried to think of how to explain to Chaewon. "I don't think we can be like any other soulmates," Yena finally decided to say.

Chaewon furrowed her eyebrows, not quite understanding what Yena had just said. "What do you mean with that?"

"I like you Chaewon, a lot, but only as a friend," Yena started. She could feel her hands getting sweaty, afraid of her words hurting the younger. "Whenever we talk, I can't feel the butterflies in my stomach or my heart beating rapidly or stuff like that."

"And…” 

And her mind pictured Yuri. Yuri and her small hands, Yuri and her cute pouty lips, Yuri who makes her heart beat faster every time they’re together.

“And I have someone else that makes me feel that way."

And Yena swore she could see a hint of hurt in Chaewon’s expression.

"I'm sorry. You can hate me. I know I'm a terrible person, you really don't deserve me as your soulmate," Yena started to ramble. She could feel guilt starting to fill her stomach.

"It's okay."

"You're not mad?" Yena asked, definitely not expecting the answer.

"I love you Yena and one way of loving someone is letting them go and that's exactly what I'm gonna do right now," Chaewon said, "I don't want you to force yourself to be by my side forever if you don't want it, it'll just hurt me at the end anyway."

“Chaewon…” Yena softly said, “You truly deserve someone so much better than me.”

Chaewon just smiled. The thoughts of being alone her whole life crossed her mind a little, but she figured it’s impossible for a person this pretty.

"Now, don't you need to meet someone else?"

Yena smiled and nodded before leaving the cafe and ran towards the nearby bus stop. She glanced at the watch in her wrist. 4:30 PM, Yuri should just be finished with her band practice when I arrive.

The ride didn't last for more than 20 minutes but for Yena, it felt like a year. 

They had some fight before, Yuri got mad at her a couple times before, and Yena had apologized for many of her dumbness before. But unlike before, she could lose the love of her life forever if she messes up just a little and being the Choi Yena that she's, of course she got nervous.

But it's Yuri, the one that she knows the most and the one that knows her the most.

She got this.

\--

When she finally arrived at her old school, she quickly went to the band room and as she reached the room, she saw some of the band members coming out of the room. So she waited a little more. She knew Yuri always came out later than anyone else because she always stayed with Yuri when she was still also in high school.

And after half an hour of waiting, the one Yena had been waiting for finally walked out from the room, walking towards her while looking down at her phone.

"Yuri!" Yena called the name out and she could see Yuri lifting her head up, searching for the source of sound. Then their eyes met.

And Yena could see how dim Yuri’s eyes were and it only meant one thing, Yuri was sad and it was because of Yena. Yena hated seeing Yuri being sad, but seeing her being sad because of her was another thing.

"Yuri, I'm sorry," Yena quickly said.

And the younger didn't move nor said anything. She tried to tell her feet to leave the hallway, to just run and leave Yena behind. But her feet just won't obey. After all, this was what she'd been waiting for the past week. Explanation.

"I know you're mad at me and I accept that. I was really stupid but I've made my decision now."

Yena took a couple steps forward, closing the gap between them. "It's you, it's always been you," she said.

And Yuri felt like she could cry anytime soon.

Yena chose her. Yena chose her over her soulmate. Yena chose her despite the universe telling them they're not meant for each other.

"Back then, I thought I would risk everything as long as I can be with you but when it actually happened that you're not my soulmate, I got scared. I keep on hearing people saying that it'll bring bad luck if you ditch your soulmates and stuff like that, and you know how much of a coward I am."

Yuri nodded lightly, she knew how Yena is a big coward who gets scared easily.

"I really thought spending more time with my soulmate would be able to erase my feelings for you and make it possible to love someone else, because that's what the universe wants, right? To be with my soulmate.

But I was wrong Yuri, I was really wrong. Instead, it makes me realize just how much more I can love you. It makes me realize that I want to hold your hands forever, that I want to have you in my embrace forever, that I want to kiss you forever, and that I want to come home to you for the rest of my life.

I also remember how your hands fit in mine so perfectly whenever we hold each other's hands, how your cute little body fits so perfectly in my embrace, how beautiful your laughs sound in my ears, how soft your cheeks feel on my lips, and how your strawberry scent smells better than anything else. And that's when I realized I don't mind having all the bad luck as long as I'll have you for the rest of my life."

Yena took more steps forward, leaving less than a 50 centimeters gap between them.

"I made a really big mistake, but I hope I still can have you. What do you think? Do you think I still have a chance?"

And there wasn't any sound coming out from Yuri's mouth, she just nodded as tears flowed down her cheeks, she couldn't handle them anymore.

Yena was never the one that's good with her words, so Yuri definitely never expected the older to say all of those words to her.

"Hey, don't cry," Yena softly said as she pulled the younger into her embrace, her hand moved to caress Yuri's hair. "You know I don't like seeing you crying."

Yet Yuri didn't stop crying. Her sobs continued to echo throughout the empty hallway as she held onto Yena's shirt tightly, afraid of losing her again.

"I love you unnie, please never leave me," Yuri said between the sobs.

"And I love you the most, Yuri. I promise I'll never leave because if it's for you, I'm more than willing to risk it all."

\--

end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The update came out way later than I expected lol. I hope you all enjoyed this 2shot story. Stay safe everyone <3

**Author's Note:**

> So how did you like it?  
> I was planning to make this a oneshot but it didnt feel right somehow. The second half is almost done so i guess it won't take long to update?
> 
> do leave a comment if you enjoy it, i really appreciate it ^^


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